Hello my dear readers!
I am so happy to feel the outpouring of love from our community on this self-care series posts and I am speechless to see the difference that my posts had made to your life.Hence, to make the icing, I thought to end the series on one of the most important topics that lingers my heart and that is the inculcation of self-love into your life
Had you read my previous post of my journey in self-love, you would have noticed that path wasn’t a cake walk and there was so many hardships and trauma to be endured. In case you haven’t read it, I will link the post down here:
Well, you know as mentioned in my old post, this is not a magic potion that is gonna transform your life overnight. It takes work and I mean real hard work, you need to dig deep within yourself as to what you desire and what needs to be sidelined.There is one quote by Mel Robbins which is my favorite and it goes something like
“There will always be someone who can’t see your worth. Don’t let it be you.”
This is in fact true. With the onset of social networks, instead of seeking validation from oneself, one goes and tries to please people, who are either a stranger to them or in another case a competitor, just to find their worth within their words. I must admit that this had happened even with me and the moment I stopped looking around or even approaching them for their opinions on me, I started to do some soul searching.
The below 5 steps are the ones that I used throughout my journey to seek self-love
I suggest you take a notebook and a pen to note them down
(I) Journaling – Not the regular way
For this exercise, keep a paper and a pen ready and take this as the preliminary step in understanding yourself. Take as much time you would want to have in this. There is no rush and if you take this step too fast, then there is no use of overlooking the following steps
Once you have your stationery ready, go to a quiet place, away from all the hustle and go tête-à-tête within your emotions. Before you commence, talk to yourself and say that you are doing this to unleash all the demons that have been bothering you throughout your life. Make sure you acknowledge this well in advance before you write. Now that this step is over, on your sheet of paper, start writing the things that you love about yourself and also the things that you have been praised for (e.It could be like, someone appreciates you for your wit, your cooking, your handwriting, your knowledge). It could be anything and everything under the sun. There is no end limit or a turnaround time for this. Keep writing as long as you want to. After this, read it out aloud, so that it resonates with each part of your body.
The next step is to take another sheet of paper and write down all the flaws---- Do this sans filters! This is not for anybody else but for you…only YOU…. Do this and I am sure this would be hard, but it’s totally OK to breakdown…Take your time with this….
(ii) Gratitude is the key
Post the first step, I know this may sound a bit cocky, but hear me out! Be thankful to all the good and the bad that have happened to you. Let’s say, the person you were back then in 2015 isn’t the person that you are now in 2020.You do see the difference right? So much has enormously changed, right from external appearance to emotions. In the same way, when you wrote the good and the bad, that exercise was to remind you to appreciate yourself for how far you’ve come. You need to believe that YOU ARE YOU AND THAT IS YOUR SUPERPOWER. Nobody can be you and not anyone could have survived in your situation and that is a sign of strength. That’s exactly, why we took the first exercise.If you want to love yourself a lot more, you must pursue the art of being thankful, because that is the key to a shift in mindset.
Click the link above to know in depth about what gratitude means and it’s after effects!
(iii) Affirmations does wonders
“If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right” – Henry Ford
If you want me to explain about affirmations in a one liner then the above quote is the best example. Affirmations is the magic potion that you need to be looking for. Whatever is that, you feed to your body and to nourish your soul, your body resonates with it. If you talk badly about yourself as in “I am not beautiful and I am unworthy” – Your heart believes it the second you say it to yourself. Immediately post saying this, if you had noticed it – fatigue tends to creep in and our body responds it to by making us feel tired. On the other hand, try saying “I am enough and I don’t care what people think about me” – The reassurance signal that you get from your heart and that sudden grasp of energy is the result of this one liner. So never take affirmations for granted. If you need details on what affirmations you need to tell yourself, then please click this link.
(iv) Emanate the fear of failure
“Failure is so important. We speak about success all the time. It is the ability to resist failure or use failure that often leads to greater success. I’ve met people who don’t want to try for fear of failing.” – J.K. Rowling
Failure is inevitable. No matter what you do, you will fail at it at one point of time. And that’s exactly how winning is done. Have you ever thought about your idols? What made you fall for them? What made you to take inspiration from them? If you answer the last question, I think the most obvious reason would be the way they rose from adversity. I am not saying that you need to be strong all the time and I am not here to preach that. I am saying that, no matter what you do accept the fact that you would fail and that is an opportunity to learn and outshine. YouTube is flooded with motivational content and I would suggest you to watch TED talks to know how can emanate the fear of failure.
Keep this link as a guide if you want to know which talk to listen or watch first
(v) Ditch the compare schhlager
Last but definitely not the least, if you need to love yourself more, you need to understand that growth comes with a package of abandonment and hatred. One needs to strike a balance between the good and bad. Instagram is a perfect example of reel life and they have defined happiness in such a way that real life has become completely undesirable. Trust me I was also doing the comparison game and the only thing that came out of it, was looking at my life in a pity.However,to come out of the compare schhlager,it is absolutely fine if you delete, unfollow,unfriend anyone who messes up with your mind (be it friends or family). Like I said You are you and that is your superpower !
The pointers that are mentioned above is what I did to inculcate self-love into my life. Also, I would like to say that don’t be too pushy or way too hard on yourself. Self-love and care is a journey and it will happen only when you learn to enjoy the process rather than focusing on the end goal.
This is your life and the most important relationship that you will have ever have is the one with yourself
So make it count!!